unloved body

The Unloved Body: Understanding the Disconnect

For many of us, a negative relationship with our body can stem from years of criticism, societal ideals, and personal experiences that have left us feeling less than adequate. This disconnect can manifest in countless ways; whether it’s battling chronic health issues, struggling with body image, or simply feeling disconnected from the body we inhabit.

This disconnect was a struggle I intimately understood, especially after suffering a stroke. My body, once a source of strength and vitality, became a shell of what it had been. I found myself often criticising my body, frustrated by its inability to perform as it once had. It was a painful journey of coming to terms with the fact that my body had changed, and I no longer knew it as well as I had before. The battle for body confidence was real and ongoing, and it left me questioning my worth and value.

Yet over time, I realised that true healing didn’t begin with fixing my body or adhering to external standards; it began with learning to care for my body, to nurture it with respect and compassion, regardless of its current state. The body is not the enemy. It’s not something that needs fixing, but rather the vessel that deserves love and nurturing.

Self-Care as a Revolutionary Act

Self-care is often thought of as indulgence, a spa day or a glass of wine at the end of a busy week. But true self-care goes far beyond surface-level pleasures. It’s a revolutionary act of reclaiming your power and worth. It’s about nurturing your body because it deserves love, not because you are trying to change it to fit into someone else’s standards.

Here are some of the key ways I embraced self-care to rebuild my relationship with my body:

Reframing Your Relationship with Your Body

One of the most important aspects of self-care is the mental shift we must make toward our bodies. This means moving away from the habitual criticism and learning to focus on what your body does for you. Praise your body for its resilience, how it carries you through challenges and helps you experience life. Change the language you use when speaking to yourself. Replace "I hate my body" with "My body is strong," or "I am grateful for my body’s ability to heal and adapt."

Nourish with Intention

True nourishment is not about dieting or restriction it’s about giving your body the fuel it needs to thrive. Whether it’s fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, or the occasional indulgence, the key is listening to your body and responding to its needs. Nourish with love, not punishment.

Gentle Movement and Rest

When you feel disconnected from your body, intense exercise can sometimes feel like a form of punishment. Instead, opt for gentle, healing forms of movement like yoga, stretching, or walking. These practices don’t push your body but encourage it to release tension and re-connect with itself. At the same time, don’t forget the importance of rest. Your body needs downtime to repair and replenish, and respecting that need is an essential part of self-care.

Self-care also involves being present with your body, not just going through the motions. Mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to your physical sensations can help you re-connect with your body on a deeper level. When you take the time to listen to your body, its aches, its needs, and its desires, you can start to rebuild trust and compassion toward it. It is a constant companion that supports you, and through self-care, you can rediscover the deep bond that exists between your mind, body, and soul. Start today, your body deserves it.